I’ve had this argument with a few family and friends and so I need to put my strong opinion out in the open to get some feedback and arguments – both opposing and supportive.
I feel that if you are single and looking for a mate, you’re more likely to find your mate while attending the home ward in which you live rather than attending a singles ward.
First of all, I understand the desire to want to go where there are more singles to choose from to increase your odds of finding your mate. This logic makes sense but it is flawed. I was going to launch in to a parable about dogs and such but I changed my mind.
Instead, I think I’ll just put it out there… This is my feelings about singles wards from my experiences. Keep in mind that this was 8 years ago and things may have changed since then, but I doubt it.
First and foremost, if you are going to college and live in a dorm or apartment filled with college students, you don’t have much choice. A singles ward is most likely your ward and is the best place for you.
On the other hand, if you are not going to college, or have graduated from college and you are not living in a singles apartment or such, but rather living in an area with a “normal” home ward, I think this is your place – even if you are living with your parents. You may feel that you have more options of finding “the one” in a singles ward. This may or may not be true, but let me tell you the benefits of attending a “home ward”.
- The Church is all about service. There are not nearly as many callings to go around in singles wards, and home wards would love to have more people to fill callings. Often young men and women are called to teach Sunday School or Primary. This is an excellent opportunity for anyone as there is no greater calling in the church that that of a teacher. To some, such a call may sound scary, but it will provide some of your greatest memories and experiences in life.
- On the above note, take this example. Suppose you are a young man and you want to find a young woman who likes children. Would you be more apt to dating a girl who says how much she loves kids, or would you rather date a girl who is preparing lessons and teaching children every week. Saturday night dates will be much cheaper as it often involds laminating cardstock at Kinkos and cutting out object lessons 😉
- All bishops are busy men, but bishops of singles wards seem even more busy than most – often dealing with common young adult issues such as word of wisdom issues, immorality and pornography. You may get more time and attention in a home ward.
- Relief Society women just love to play match-maker. It’s in their blood. When they notice a nice young man or woman in their ward that is actively serving, they immediately start thinking who else they know or are related to that they could set you up with. Sometimes it even works out.
- Now while there may be a lot more options for you in a singles ward, there is even more competition! This is probably the most overlooked fact when someone chooses to attend a singles ward. Just as you have so many more options, so do the opposite sex you are looking at. On the other hand, in a home ward, you may have one or two potentials to consider dating. Your odds of actually being noticed by that person are greatly increased!
- I’m sorry but I just have to make an observation on this last point. To me, singles wards were spiritually shallow. While you find that there is always a long line of people waiting to bear their testimony in fast and testimony meeting, it seems most are speaking to be heard and noticed by the opposite sex. Whether this is conscious or subconscious I don’t know, nor do I care. Lessons tend to go the same way. I don’t think it is so much pride that makes a young person want to be heard and noticed, but rather the longing for companionship – and it just tends to show in a singles ward.
So now it’s your turn. Bring on the arguments. Share your success stories. Tell me I’m wrong!